When it doesn't fit anywhere else
 #157705  by RiderWes
 Tue Aug 01, 2017 11:56 am
James, this guy is abusive, and you need to ditch him.

I also keep hearing you make comments about how the band has screwed up arrangements, or sound checks. Man, that stuff is ALL in your head. If you are in a calm, happy, positive space where you are communicating on a healthy level with your band, your team, your music will flow from that place, and you will stop worrying about the lemons; instead, you will reach out, grab them, and make lemonade.

I think your band sounds great, you look great, and you are playing great music. Any problem you are having is not skills-related, it is people-related. You have to figure out how to solve your people problems. And what you have posted would have me running the other way.
 #157718  by James-T
 Wed Aug 02, 2017 1:32 pm
Wow. Thanks so much for that.

Life is messy. I wish it wasn't. I'm not even going to go into the last gig. It had its share of drama and it's share of mess-ups.

In all of this it's important to keep things in context that to be human is to fail once in a while. And that's where improvement comes from. It sucks to be on the grasp of something that could be so good. To see it self destruct.

The mind is a beautiful thing and it sure is easy to mess it up.

And friendships and relationships are so important. It takes years to build them and they can be damaged so easily by poor communications. Most of the time it's not worth being right. Life has too many battles to fight and most while they seem so pressing and important are in reality inconsequential in the long haul. I can see how you are saying that, just in a more poetic way. Music is meant to flow, not be a constant argument. It's art. Not policy. And everyone brings unique gifts to the party.

Your comments are very kind. And I take them to heart!
 #157722  by ccw3432
 Wed Aug 02, 2017 10:52 pm
Talk it out and move on if it's time. Don't let it ride in the current state as it doesn't sound healthy or enjoyable. There are always new and interesting possibilities out there but you have to be open to them and allow them to happen.
 #157723  by strumminsix
 Thu Aug 03, 2017 5:25 am
a couple quick thoughts:
1) don't play with unprofessional people - this is simple
2) play with folks who have similar goals as you - if you're a perfectionist, don't play with "pretty good" set of folks
3) the emotions behind the music (good or bad) can never be conveyed at a level others can understand it - don't expect it to. If it's not right for you, walk